Blood Is Thicker Than Money
by Aurora Lenore
Summary: Chatsworth is elated when his cousin Kate comes to town, but is shocked when she wants little to do with her family's posh and pampered lifestyle. Will Chatsworth be able to show her the "error of her ways" or will Kate shun her family, instead?
1. Chapter 1: Katie-Cuz

**Disclaimer: This story is very loosely based on the Season One episode, Soup and Fish, even though I thought of the idea of Chatsworth's cousin long before seeing the episode a week ago. I do NOT own any of the fictional characters in my story. Not even Kate. She comes and goes as she pleases in my imagination. Enjoy! **

"Mumsy?"

"Oh! Chatsworth, you nasty boy! You startled me!"

"Sorry, Mumsy," Chatsworth Osborne Jr. replied, looking down at the floor apologetically before continuing. "Mumsy, I was just wondering if my dear, sweet, disarming Cousin has made her arrival yet."

Mumsy, also known as Mrs. Chatsworth Osborne Sr. frowned, pulling her mink coat around her even tighter. "No, Chatsworth; she hasn't. I was going to send for Trembley to ferret her out. Where is he, anyhow? Trembley?"

Chatsworth daintily tapped his mother on the shoulder as she looked around for their butler. "Mumsy, perhaps I could go out and fetch her _for_ you. After all, she and I have _so_ much to catch up on. Stocks and bonds and things of that sort."

"Very well," Mrs. Osborne replied. "Find her and bring her here immediately. She is an Osborne and she shan't be gallivanting about with random peasants. She belongs here, under my supervision and guidance."

Chatsworth smiled and nodded. "Well, of course, Mumsy. I will bring her back here, posthaste."

"Well, don't just stand there, you nasty boy! Go!" she cried, literally shooing him away.

Again, Chatsworth nodded and dashed off.

"That Chatsworth. Always eager. Nasty, but eager," she said aloud to no one in particular.

* * *

"So, like, what do you wanna do today, good buddy?" Maynard G. Krebs asked his best friend as they sat in their usual place in the park. "We could go down to the ice cream parlor and get a sundae!"

Dobie Gillis looked at Maynard sadly. "Maynard, going to get ice cream takes money. And I haven't got a single red cent to my name."

Maynard looked down for a second before he looked back up and smiled. "Hey, Dobe; we could go to the Bijou. I hear they're showing _The Monster That Devoured Cleaveland_."

"Maynard, what did I tell you? I don't have any money. We can't go get a sundae and we can't go see a movie."

Maynard scratched his scrawny beard. "Oh. Sorry. There's gotta be like _something _we can do for two people who ain't got a red cent to their names. Or even a blue cent. Or yellow. Or _green!" _

Dobie looked at Maynard, exhasperated. "Maynard, _enough_!"

Suddenly, a young female figure emerged from the bushes and Maynard knew any ideas he came up with would be going out the window.

Sure enough, Dobie shot up from the bench as if he were on fire. "Hello, lovely breath of fresh air. My name is Dobie Gillis. Allow me to be your slave, your puppet."

The young girl grinned, her brown pony-tail bobbing slightly as Dobie took her hand in his. "Hi, Dobie. I'm Katelyn. Kate for short."

"Oh, Kate. Pure, sweet adorable Kate. Are you new in town? Allow me to assist you in any way you desire."

"You're a sweet boy, Dobie. A little kooky but sweet. Actually, I _am _new to town. But I'm not lost. I'm hiding."

"Ooh, Dobe; what if she's hiding from the cops?" Maynard spoke up. "What if she's like on the goat?"

"That's _lam_, Maynard. And there's no way this delicate flower could be in trouble with anyone," Dobie corrected. "May I ask who you're hiding from, my darling Kate?"

"My cousin. I know he's looking for me, but I'm just not exactly anxious about seeing him yet," Kate confessed, smoothing down her long khaki skirt.

Dobie nodded. "Well, then hide you, we shall. Come along, Maynard."

Suddenly, Kate tensed up as they heard a car approach. "No, we have to hide _now_!" With that, she grabbed Dobie's arm, who grabbed Maynard's arm and the three of them hid behind the bushes.

"So, like, who's your Cousin that you're too terrified to meet?" Maynard whispered as the car pulled in front of the bench and the young gentleman got out.

"Oh, Katie-Cuz; where are you?" A familiar voice called out.

Kate frowned. "Him."

Both Maynard and Dobie peeked carefully through the bushes to see Chatsworth Osborne Jr. looking around rather excitably.

"Chatsworth Osborne Jr.?" Dobie whispered, eyes wide.

"Like _him_?" Maynard asked.

Kate nodded. "Like him."

"Funny, but you don't seem all snobbish and rich like the rest of them Osborne cats. You're kinda homely and plain. No offense."

"No offense. I know. Unlike the rest of my family, I choose not to flaunt the fact that I have money," Kate replied.

Suddenly, Chatsworth walked around to the bushes and saw the three of them. "Katie-Cuz! There you are!" He grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her from her hiding place. "It's ever so good to see you!"

Maynard and Dobie stood up and joined their reunion. "Like, I bet you wish she felt the same," Maynard replied without thinking, receiving a sharp look from Dobie.

Kate held Chatsworth at arms' length. "You still look the same," she managed to respond.

"Might I ask whatever were you doing back behind the bushes with these riff-raffs?" Chatsworth asked.

"Like, she was helping _this_ riff-raff. I lost a shoe," Maynard lied.

Chatsworth looked down. "Krebs baby, your tattered and sordid shoes are on your feet!"

Maynard looked down. "Oh! There they are! Thanks, Chatsy. You're like a real human being."

Kate bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Chatsworth, you never told me you had such amusing friends."

"That's because they're not exactly what I would call 'friends'; more like uncouth acquaintances," he replied distastefully.

Dobie stepped forward angrily. "Now, just a minute! Just a darned minute! Chatsworth, how many times have Maynard and I helped-"

"Well, would you look at the time?" Chatsworth interrupted, looking at his solid gold wristwatch. "I promised Mumsy I would have you back at the mansion ASAP. Come along, Katie-Cuz!"

"Uh, bye Dobie! Bye, Maynard!" Kate called out and waved as Chatsworth's little blue sports car zoomed away.

"Well," Dobie huffed. "How do you like that? 'Uncouth acquaintances'! Huh!

Maynard shrugged. "I guess it's better than being couth. Sounds contagious."


	2. Chapter 2: What A Treat

**Side Note: I know it's starting out slow, but sometimes pain for a certain character can be slow and ongoing before one "snaps". Or gets his come-uppance. Whichever I choose. ;-) **

As soon as Kate entered the mansion, she felt somewhat ill. It was twice the size of her parents' mansion back at home, but at least there, she was given room to breathe. Despite the large space, with Chatsworth breathing down her neck, she was trapped like a rat.

"So, my dear Katie-Cuz; what do you think of our glorious château?" Chatsworth asked as Trembley came to take her coat.

"I've been here before, Chats. It's nice if you like this sort of thing."

Chatsworth threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, Katie baby; you still have a fascinating sense of humor. Now Trembley will show you to your room so you may get changed into something better than these," he paused for a moment, looking her up and down before continuing, "threads of disgrace. Why, if Mumsy were to see you, she would give you a good tongue-lashing, I'm sure. I've got an even better idea! Why don't we have a go at a little polo. Doesn't that sound positively _smashing_?" With that, he swung his arm and made a noise similar to a stick hitting a ball.

"Actually, I was wondering if there is anything you like to do for fun away from the manor? Like somewhere around town you and your friends like to hang out?" Kate asked. "I think I heard that Maynard guy mention something about an ice cream parlor."

"Ah, there's that sense of humor I love," he chuckled, tapping the end of her nose with his finger.

"I was being serious, Chats. I wish to go there, instead."

Chatsworth's face turned into a pained look of despair. "But Katie-Cuz, ice cream parlors are for _children _and _beatniks_! No Osborne would be caught dead in there unless we were looking to _buy _it!"

Kate wasn't listening, however. "And I was thinking we could invite Dobie and Maynard to come with us! Yeah!"

"Now surely you jest!" Chatsworth scoffed. "You have before you a plethora of things to do such as polo, croquet and going for a swim in our indoor pool. Instead you want to hang out at a malt shop with the likes of Dobie Gillis and Maynard G. Krebs?"

"Oh, please, Chatsworth? Please? Really, I would!"

Chatsworth sighed. "Ohhh, alright. If it is your true heart's desire, then we shall go."

"Oh, thank you, Chats! You're the best!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "Now we just need to find the guys to invite them. Any idea where they'd be?"

"I was afraid you were going to ask that," Chatsworth moaned.

Kate smiled as they exited the mansion. Maybe Chatsworth wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe.

* * *

"Winnie, careful with that box, now. It's got special orders in there!" Herbert T. Gillis called out to his wife as she carried a huge crate that was almost bigger than she.

Winifred placed the crate down with a thud. "Well, I would have been more careful had a certain husband of mine given me a hand."

"Winnie, I would; really I would, but this darn lumbego-"

Suddenly, the bell chimed and Herbert saw a possibly Dobie-obsessed teenager waltz inside. At least she wasn't dressed like a bum or an eccentric mess like half of them. Her brown hair in a neat ponytail and tied with a red ribbon, a long khaki skirt and a high collared red blouse, she looked very-

"What a quaint little grocery store!" she cried out, looking around.

"Quaint? Little?" Herbert repeated.

"No, I love it! It's a breath of fresh air!" she smiled.

Herbert smiled back. "Oh, well, thank you-"

"Kate. Kate Osborne. I was looking for Dobie. Is he around?"

"Oh, he's in his room. I'll go up and get him for you, dear," Winifred offered.

"Wait a second. You said your name was Osborne?" Herbert asked, leaning against the counter. "As in _the _Osbornes?"

"The very same," Kate replied, opening the door and literally pulling Chatsworth in. "I'm Chatsworth's cousin."

Herbert put his arm around her shoulders and took her aside. "Uh, any chance you could talk Ms. Chatsworth Osborne Sr. to perhaps begin filling her special orders with us?"

Kate giggled. "She's pretty bull-headed, but I will do my best, Mr. Gillis."

"I like this girl, son," Herbert said as Winifred and Dobie entered the storeroom from upstairs.

"Oh, hi, Kate!" Dobie smiled as he saw her. His smile faded, however, when he saw her company. "What are _you _doing here, Chatsworth?"

"Well, hello to you, too, Gillis baby. It just so _happens _that dear Katie-Cuz wanted to visit that tawdry ice cream parlor and begged me to bring you and Krebs along for the ride."

"Dad, can I have-" Dobie began.

"It's our treat," Kate interjected.

"I _really _like this girl, Dobie," Herbert stated, clapping his son on the back. "She's better than a lot of those others you bring to my store. Strange, ditzy, ragged, eccentric, good-for-nothing types."

"You rang?" Maynard appered from the back entrance to the store. "Like hi, guys. Is this a party? If so, how come I wasn't like invited?"

Kate walked over and took his arm in hers. "But you _are _invited! You, Dobie, Chatsworth and I are going to the ice cream parlor! Isn't that fun?"

Chatsworth rolled his eyes. "Oh, what pray tell have I done to deserve such misery?"

Maynard smiled. "Oh like cheer up, Chatsy. Haven't you heard misery loves company or some jazz like that?"


	3. Chapter 3: I Smell A Rat

**Side Note: NOW we're getting somewhere! But where? **

Dobie watched as Kate quickly went from the new girl in town to a social butterfly. It was hard to believe that a blue-blooded Osborne could be so...friendly and down to Earth. Within thirty minutes, she had been introduced to half of Dobie's class, Mr. Pomfritt, and the employees at the parlor. And everyone who met her genuinely seemed to like her. Chatsworth, on the other hand, sulked in the corner of the booth, refusing to speak or even make eye contact with anyone.

"Hey, Chatsworth; you gonna like finish that sundae?" Maynard asked, practically drooling over the massive dish of ice cream and toppings.

"Be my guest. I seem to have lost my appetite," he replied bitterly, pushing his bowl towards Maynard.

Dobie leaned across the booth. "Chatsworth, what's your problem? Ever since Kate has arrived, you've had an even bigger chip on your shoulder than usual. What gives?"

"I'll tell you what _gives_, Dobie-doo. Ever since Katie-Cuz's arrival, she hasn't wanted to do anything but hang around boorish establishmemts and these regular people. But she's _not _a regular; she's an _Osborne_, true and true! And I propose it's high time she learned the errors of her ways!" With that, Chatsworth slid out of the booth and stood up.

Dobie stood up as well and grabbed his arm. "Chatsworth, what are you planning to do?"

Chatsworth gave Dobie a warning look. "I'll think it wise to unhand me before my Jujitsu lessons come in quite handy."

Dobie let go but still stood his ground. "Chatsworth, if you do anything foolish, Kate will never forgive you."

Chatsworth lifted his nose high into the air. "Blood is thicker than water, Gillis. And it's high time she started acting like a _true _Osborne. Excuse me. I have a rather important phone call to make."

Dobie opened his mouth to reply, but Chatsworth had already made his way to the phone booths. He then looked over to Kate, who was too busy talking to Maynard and three others to notice. Whatever Chatsworth had up his sleeve, Dobie knew the fallout wouldn't be pretty.

* * *

An hour later, Kate returned with Chatsworth back to Osborne Manor, happier than she had been in a long, long time. That is until she came to face to face with-

"Auntie Mumsy! Good evening!" she replied, trying to hide the surprise at her sudden, stone-faced appearance.

"Don't you 'Auntie Mumsy' and 'good evening' _me_, you nasty, nasty girl! I know where you have been and I do _not_ approve! Dragging my poor Chatsworth to a pitiful establishment for sugary treats instead of dining in style with foie gras and caviar!"

"But Auntie Mumsy, I don't _care _for that stuff! I like cheeseburgers and chicken fingers and ice cream!" Kate tried to explain.

"Oh! Enough with this nonsense! Are you an Osborne or are you not?"

Kate looked down shamefully. "Well, yes. I _am _but-"

"But nothing! Until you learn to act like an Osborne; proud of your heritage and wealth, nasty as it may be, you are to go to your room, effective immediately. Trembley will give you a map to help you find your living quarters."

"But you don't understand! I-I-"

"Your map, Ms. Kate," Trembley appeared, looking somewhat sympathetic.

Suddenly, Kate spun around to face Chatsworth, her face red and tears stinging her eyes. "She berated me like that and you just _stood_ there! You didn't even _try _to come to my defense!"

"Katie-Cuz, as harsh as she may seem, she has the truest intentions at heart! Mumsy is only looking out for your best interests. As am I."

Kate yanked her ponytail down angrily. "My best interests? How about _your_ best interests? _You _ratted on me to Aunty Mumsy! You just couldn't handle the fact that I am not snubbing my nose at everyone and everything!"

Chatsworth gently grabbed her hand. "Katie-Cuz; please. I meant no h-"

Kate glowered, tears streaming down her face as she pulled away from him. "No! I don't want to hear it! Chatsworth Osborne Jr, I never wish to speak to you again!" And with that, Kate ran blindly upstairs to wherever her room might be.


	4. Chapter 4: From Bad To Worse

**Side Note: Oh my...the plot thickens. By the way, i still don't own these characters, but sure am having fun pulling their puppet strings a bit. **

Chatsworth squinted his eyes as the bright sun shone through the gigantic bay window in his bedroom. Any other Sunday morning, he would be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, dressed for whatever activity tickled his fancy at that moment. But this Sunday, all he wanted to do was pull the satin sheets and sheepskin blanket back over his head. He had barely slept a wink, unable to get the image of his cousin's tear-stained face out of his mind. But Kate had made it perfectly clear thst she wanted nothing to do with him. He went to her bedroom door three times after what happened. Sadly, however, her door remained locked and his pleas to talk were never answered. "Oh, mice and rats," he grumbled, forcing himself to get out of bed and stretch. Pulling on his black silk robe with his initials hand stitched into the front pocket, he wandered out of his room. If nothing else, he had to tell Kate that it was time for breakfast. Perhaps then, she would _have_ to talk to him.

"Good morning, Mr. Osborne, Jr," one of the maids greeted as he walked by.

"What's good about it, pray tell?" Chatsworth muttered in reply, running a hand through his dark hair.

As he arrived upon Kate's room, his eyes grew wide. Outside of her door was her sterling silver dinner tray, untouched. Had she not eaten at all? He lifted the lid and sure enough, her filet mignon had not even one bite missing. Placing the lid back onto the tray, he gently knocked on her door. "Good morning, Katie-Cuz! Rise and shine! Mumsy awaits with breakfast on the patio!"

No answer. In fact, there was no sound at all. Not even the sound of her crying, like there was when he had knocked before.

"Katie baby; come on! Don't do this! I-I said I was sorry. Honest. Please come out and speak to me."

Still no answer.

"Alright; that does it. You leave me with no other choice," he threatened, running downstairs into the sewing room to grab a pin, nodding a quick hello to the tailor and seamstress. "I cannot believe I am having to stoop to such a degrading level as to pick a lock," he said as he returned to her room and jiggled the pin expertly in the keyhole. "Now, Katie-Cuz; you just _have _to listen-"

But as he opened the door to her room, he let out an audible gasp as he saw that she was nowhere in sight. In fact, the only thing he _did _see was her open window and her satin sheets tied together as a makeshift rope! "Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dear! Mumsy is not going to be pleased about this at _all_!"

* * *

"...and then the rats ate the cheese cause it was like all they had left and...Dobe? Good buddy?"

"Yeah, Maynard?"

"Were you like listening or were you out there in Thinksville again?" Maynard asked.

"I'm sorry, Maynard. Yeah, I was kinda lost in thought. I just can't get over what happened yesterday at the ice cream parlor, that's all."

Maynard nodded. "Yeah, like me, too, good buddy."

"So it bothers you, too?"

"I don't know," Maynard shrugged. "What happened?"

Dobie gave him a double-take. "Maynard!"

Maynard blinked. "Sorry, Dobe. After I finished off Chatsworth's sundae, everything after that got all foggy-like."

"I just hope Kate's okay," Dobie continued.

Maynard still wasn't quite sure what Dobie was going on about, but he smiled as he saw who was walking their way. "Hiya, Kate."

Dobie turned. "Kate! Look, whatever Chatsworth did, I want you to know I tried to stop him. I just don't know what got into him."

Kate smiled. "I know. And I appreciate the effort, really I do. Chatsworth just can't handle that I am the way that I am."

"Well, Maynard and I like you just the way you are. Isn't that right, Maynard?"

Maynard nodded. "That's right. We don't mind that you like are the way we are that I am. Am I right?"

"Close, Maynard," Dobie replied uneasily. "Kate, don't be too sore at Chatsworth. I know deep down he means well. He just has a crummy way of showing it."

"Yeah. Like real, real deep down. So deep that sometimes it gets like lost," Maynard agreed.

"Oh, I'm still angry with him. But it's not my fault that he's so spoiled and pampered that he can't see past the end of his nose. Being rude and snooty is just part of who he is and will always be," Kate explained.

Maynard tried to listen, but he was distracted by something else behind Kate. "Uh, Kate?" he whispered, trying to point behind her as casually as he could.

"I just think it's sad that he feels that he has to constantly flaunt the fact that he's so rich. I mean, if only he knew that the few friends he _does _have are probably only his friends because he's so wealthy!"

"Kate?" Maynard tried, louder, again pointing, but Kate was on a roll.

"If he doesn't change his ways, he will wind up like most of the Osborne men. Alone and miserable, with nothing but their giant empty mansions and hollow souls."

Maynard looked over and saw that Dobie was also trying to get her attention.

"Kate!" both he and Dobie said in unison.

Kate stopped and saw that they were looking behind her. As she turned, she saw Chatsworth standing there, ashen-faced, looking pitiful. "Chatsworth!"

Chatsworth opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he quickly turned on his heel and briskly walked away, his head down.

Kate turned back around to Dobie and Maynard, biting her lip. "Oh, I really did it this time, haven't I?"

Maynard looked to Dobie and then back to Kate. "I'm no expert, but I think like yeah. You really did it."

Dobie placed his hand on Kate's arm. "I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it."

Kate sighed. "I wouldn't bet on that. He thinks I hate him already. Now he'll _swear _to it."

"You want us to go talk to him?" Dobie offered.

"No, thanks," Kate shook her head. "I think this is something I need to do alone."

"Well, good luck," Dobie said with a bittersweet smile.

"Yeah, cause like you're gonna need it. No offense," Maynard added.

"No offense," Kate replied before running off to find Chatsworth.


	5. Chapter 5: Family Matters

"Chatsworth? Chats, where are you?" Kate called over and over as she checked through the rest of the park, Charlie Wong's Ice Cream Parlor, down by the lake, the Bijou and even near Osborne Manor. But Chatsworth was nowhere to be found. "Oh, worms and snakes; where could he _be_?"

Suddenly, she remembered where the school was and she quickly made her way there. Sure enough, Chatsworth was sitting at a picnic table alone, head hanging down sadly.

"Go away," he called out miserably. "Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it."

Kate sat down beside him on the bench, her back against the table. "Chatsworth, I am so very sorry. I didn't mean what I said; honest!"

"Well then why on Earth would you say such hardhanded things about me to my friends? Or perhaps they are only _pretending_ to be my friends, as you so brazenly put it," he replied bitterly, turning around to face the same direction as she.

Kate nervously played with the hem of her skirt. "Chats, I was angry with you. I just don't _understand_ you, that's all. Ever since we were kids, you always said you would do anything to make me smile. But since I have been here, you've made me feel downright miserable. I'm not like you, Chats. I never _have _been. Yes, I am rich and live in a big mansion and receive all the perks that come with it. But none of that has ever made me happy. It doesn't define who I am. What makes me happy is just being part of the crowd. Getting to do all of the normal things that others take for granted: grabbing a sundae after school, going dancing and just being with people who don't _care _that I'm wealthy. I just don't understand how you can truly be happy reminding people how affluent you are."

Chatsworth looked at her. "Are you saying that you are indeed ashamed of our family?"

"No," Kate replied quickly, before biting her lip. "Well, _sometimes_. I must admit, there are times when I wish I _truly_ were like everyone else. Having to come up with creative ways to access money to buy a burger or a pizza or tickets to a show. My friends back home know I'm well-to-do, but they never hear me brag about it or see me showing up to school wearing the best dresses and hats. They like me for me and they even forget that I'm an Osborne. Sometimes, that is."

"So, having little blue sports cars and yachts and rubbing elbows with other corps d'elite mean absolutely _nothing_ to you?"

Kate giggled. "They are nice, but they're not everything. Sometimes, even us upper crust types need to stop and smell the roses sometime. It keeps us humble. And helps our sense of smell," she added with another giggle.

Chatsworth smiled. "I guess I can understand that. And I must admit, you _did _seem rather happy conversing with the hoi polloi yesterday. And they honestly all seemed rather taken with you, as well. Do you think my fellow chaps would perhaps like me more if I wasn't so increduously wealthy?"

"Well, you can't help that. We have gold-plated Osborne blood coursing through our veins," Kate admitted. "But you don't have to constantly show-off or remind everyone of said fact. Just because your last name is Osborne and you live in a 48 room mansion and a 50 acre estate surrounded by a 16 foot brick wall-"

"With broken glass embedded in the top," Chatsworth finished proudly.

"Yeah," she continued. "Well, just because you have all that doesn't mean you are better than everyone else. It just means that you have more room to share with others!"

"I see what you mean. I'll readily admit that it will be a challenge, but it is my heartfelt wish to be happier and to have as many friends as possible. And with you as my muse, I know I can and will be able to do it," he nodded firmly. "But I shall start with telling Mumsy that her punishment for you was much too harsh. You were only doing what you desired and no harm was done."

"Thank you, Chats. I really do appreciate that. So does that mean you will accept my apology?"

"Only if you will accept mine."

"Of course! I love you, Chatsworth," she hugged him tightly as they stood up.

"And I you, Katie baby. So what do you say we head over to Charlie Wong's Ice Cream Parlor for celebratory sundaes?"

"Do you really mean it? I was thinking afterwards, perhaps you and I could play a few games of tennis?"

"Well, only if Dobie-Doo and Krebs baby can keep up with us."

Kate linked her arm through his and smiled. "When it comes to sundaes? Probably so. But when it comes to tennis? We will knock their proverbial socks off!"

Chatsworth laughed. "Spoken like a true Osborne, Katie-Cuz. Spoken like a true Osborne."

_THE END_


End file.
